Maybe Never

Maybe Never

Green with envy

White with rage

When will I learn

To turn the page

A simple note

A telling look lasting

A second too long

Something in the making

A heart breaking discovery

The gut wrenching truth

Minute by minute

It’s stealing my youth

Its killing me

An agonizing death

To watch you walk

Down that path

I got the message

Loud and clear

But I can’t force myself

To stop standing here

I’m lost in it

Lost in the sorrow

Was there yesterday

And will be tomorrow

My head says yes

My heart says no

And I can’t find

A direction to go

Feeling it deep

Down in my bones

But it’s my secret

That nobody knows

Worst seat in the house

Front and center

Seeing some things

I don’t want to remember

You don’t get it

And you never will

I’m scrawling my rage

Instead of taking that pill

Want to scream

As loud as possible

At my reflection

Being so hostile

Tearing my hair out

With a smile on my face

Why the hell

Can’t I stop the chase

Lost so much sleep

Couldn’t count the hours

Fighting my will

And being overpowered

A meal would be nice

But whats the use

Food isn’t gonna help

I’ll take my own abuse

After all this time and

Not a damn thing changed

Don’t need their help

This is my crusade

A trivial battle

Where’s my white flag

I won’t wave it

But it’s good to have

Fuck this envy

Screw my rage

Maybe this time

I don’t want to turn the page